Thursday, May 18, 2006

Anecdote: Friendly

She always laughs hoping he will see her, not because she wants to show him she's happy, but because maybe he will fall for her smile like she fell for his...

I choose to be friendly with most of the women on the floor. I want to be on the good side of the vet agents, hoping to learn from them. I want to be in good terms with the newbies because i want their respect and admiration.

You choose to be friendly with almost every woman on the floor. But i doubt you have the same intentions as i do.

You tell your stories to the world. You tell them of the things you have done with your life. Do you tell them the same things you tell me? Do you tell them of your fears and anxieties? Do you tell them of your frustrations and weaknesses?

You crack jokes to them. You laugh to their own. It seems you're having a good time at every after call and avail time by talking with them. and you relay their stories to me. Do you really want me to laugh at the jokes you get from them? Do you expect me to react to stories of people i barely know?

Before you go home, you say goodbye to each one of them. It takes time before you pass through the glass doors separating the operations floor and lobby. As you say your goodbyes I wait there patiently on the other side. I glance at my watch, looking at how many minutes had passed-by. I wait for you to pass through those glass doors, so we can finally leave the building together. I do the waiting almost every day and you hear no complaining from me.

But then again, I'm just one of your friends...

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Wala Ka Na

sa gitna ng kaguluhan ng isip
nais kong kumuha ng patalim
ilagay sa iyong palad
at sabihing
itarak mo na lang ito
sa aking dibdib

mas nanaisin pa
ang sakit na dala
ng bakal na humihiwa
sa aking balat at laman
kaysa pagmamahal mo'y
hindi na maramdaman

mas nanaisin pa
na dugo'y umagos
mula sa sugat
na bunga ng patalim
kaysa luha'y umagos
sa magkabilang pisngi

mas nanaisin pa
na malamang
wala na akong pag-asa
kaysa marama
at malamang
wala ka na